I  keep thinking  there has to be a city, country, time   that is right for me to be in but so far no luck or maybe  just maybe there is  but only for a certain time frame.I think it's the same with people    like  when you break up with someone  they were definitely right for you when you were with them but  you change or they do and  the love  fades.i learnt  that with Tim  he was  so special to me and helped me in everyway  he could and i'd  like to think i did the same for him but in the end  the pressure and change in  myself  lead me to  end it  with him. Right now i  am  hurting really badly because  both Matty and i leave in December  he goes home to Melbourne and me to Richmond Va.
  Although  before we  started we both knew it had to  be over when  he left ,but i didn't realise i would love him  the way i do and i'm mad  because  this time  something great  has to end  not because  anything happened with us but because of circumstances beyond mine or his control. I have  just  decided recently that  that i'm leaving london for good in dec, it makes sense really this job won't go for much longer past then and  most of my friends won't be around for christmas.I know it's so stupid but i can't imagine london without Rosa or Matty and it would be hard  being here without them both. I know in time   i won't be hurting so much and that we will both move on but i know how  easy it is to forget someone  when they aren't always around and i'm  afraid he will  forget me.i know  he has told me so many times that he won't and that he loves me and it's not that i don't believe it cause i really do it's just that he is leaving and i  am trying  hard to  shut myself off from it but i can't...i'm so mad at myself for getting close to someone again because the result is always the same i end up alone.that's it though i'm done with  relationships it's only alot of cats for me from now on.

1. My Butt : is  bigger then i like so i try to hide it!
2. when i talk: i Can really say some ridiculous things and i dont always think before i speak but i  do try to make me ppl laugh.

3. If i love someone: i    love them with all my heart and i will treat them as    i want to be treated that goes for my friends, family and my boyfriend,
4. i need: more money, to get better  before Glasto
5.i've lost: My ruby ring  at a club
6.i hate it when: my  friends or family are sad
7.if i'm drunk: i'm  a  total idiot  but sometimes funny i think   i have pictures to prove it haha
8.Money: i wish i had more of it
9.My mother: i  truly admire her she has made alot of mistakes and  given me   many issues  that i may never get through but she  has done the best she can as a  single parent and  for that i will always be thankful,
10.i'll probably always be: Cynical at times.
11. i have a crush on: Jake gyllenhaal
12.the last time i cried: it was yesterday because i am a stresshead.
13.My cell phone: is pink and   kinda broken  from dropping it in the toilet and bath when  i was sober.
14.When i wake up in the morning: i  always press the snooze button
15.Before i go to sleep:  i usually  watch t.v
16.Right now i'm thinking: about Glastonbury.
17.Tonight i will:    relax and  read my book.
18.Tomorrow i will: Meet  up with Susi  and pack for Glasto.
19.I really want to : go to alot of music festivals this summer.
20.Relationships:  they are not without problems  but  if your with the right person amazing.
21. Love:All you need is love.
22.My best girlfriend: here it is   Rosa    Sydney -Tash,Sarah,Emma,Richmond - Lara
23.My best boy friend:Matty here  Sydney -David
24.Food: is   what you need to survive
25.When i'm a girlfriend: i am loving,caring and i adore that person!
26 .Girls and boys:Should always play together.
27.Over the summer: there will be many ciders  to drank.
28.Heartbreak:Can never be forgotten no matter how hard you try.

New  Quiz!!!!
1. First Name :Melissa or Mel
2.  Age: 25
3.Location: Bounds Green in my room.
4.occupation:Nanny
5.Partner: He is an great friend and boyfriend  we have been together 3 mths and  we are  very good together,  we have so much in commen but at the same time we are very different, we have gotten very close and  although we go our separate ways in december  we do love each other  and if it's ment to be  everything will work out for the best.
6.Kids:i love them i hope to have   some one day with the right person.
7.Siblings: Beckie  is in Sydney i love  her  although she can be   tough sometimes  she means well  and she is marrying the most amazing guy and i'm so happy for her.Amy is in RIchmond,Va and i love her dearly  i only hope she finds  what she is looking for and  stops being so hard on herself,James is in Perth right now hopefully realising how  to be  stronger and  more assertive, i miss them all.
8.Pets: i have only ever had cats really, My  grey Cat Miss Minx is back home in Syndey she is very  cute but naughty,
9.List 3-5 big things in your life:Glastonbury,fun weekends,Sleepy lie ins  with someone you love, Fun days in the sun with your friends,Being healthy
10.Schools Ashbury public,Warawee Public,Drummoyne public,Riverside Girls high,Hunters hill  high, Petersham tafe.  all these places have helped me in some way or another  i have met some great friends, i  wish i appreciated high school more studied more stressed less,i hope to  go to uni  when i leave the u.k and  do a bachelor of   arts and  do a radio course.
11. Parents :  my dad i only wish   he  and i were closer  he has gotten less tough in his old age and  i hope to spend lots  more time with him in America. My mum is  special and i hope she finds Happiness.
12. Closest friends: they know who they are they have gotten me through some really hard times and    more like family than my real one.

Friday night i enjoyed a nite in  of watching the big brother eviction and the football unfortunately France lost but   i will watch them  play Italy  with Matty Tuesday.I  Fell down the stairs thurs nite and my back has been killing me  i may go to the docter if it doesn't stop hurting soon.

Saturday  i met Rosa,Jess and German Bari  in Camden  we had fun but they had all been out the night before so  were  so hungover. We all ended  up going back to Rosa's  to drink way too much and get ready, I got  really upset with Matty  and it really wouldn't have seemed so  bad but because i was VERY  drunk i was very emotional and fortunately after  a bit of an arguement  we sorted it before going to a  cool bar  called catch.

Loved it  althought by the time we got there  everyone was a bit over it and  jess's  boy came and Mel and conner but    was too late  for them to get in so  that  was crap! Home time with Matty  trying not to fall asleep on the N87 while my Matty   does lol  i wouldnt have it any other way...Today lie in  and such a   perfect sunday  had a great talk with Matty  we  really do misunderstand each other sometimes but he is amazing and i'm glad we are together,